The Journey into Fatherhood

So it's Austin back again with some updates and reflections in this latest stage of our adventurous journey.  Since arriving two months ago from Nepal "barefoot and pregnant," we have had a whirlwind of a time seeing family and friends, and figuring out our lives.  After choosing Portland as our settling point for the next year or two, we made the road trip back down to SoCal, back to our roots and where all our stuff was packed away.  Weathering many fun and engaging yet ultimately tiring (because of volume) social engagements with family and friends that we absolutely love and are getting to know better, we packed up a truck full of stuff and set north.  During the packing phase, Kindra managed to figure out the complicated Medical system through her awesomeness and score us our first prenatal check up in the states, complete with finding out the gender!  Our cool, openly socialist OBGYN simply assumed we were having a birth with a midwife (which we hopefully are), and as she gently assessed Kindra, mentioned that we looked like the type that would live on a farm somewhere in Oregon (maybe someday!).  At the super fancy ultrasound, in which everything looked great for our baby to be, the technician led us to discover a wonderful surprise: we are having a girl!

A baby girl.  A sweet lady.  Daddy's princess.  Wow, what a beautiful surprise!  Kindra and I were convinced a boy would be coming, so we are adjusting pleasantly to the idea of a girl.  :)

Following our discovery of the sex, we packed up our boxes in our beloved, borrowed Tacoma until it resembled a covered wagon, and then hit the 'Oregon Trail' going north!  Along the way, we had a great visit with Kindra's dad and step mom Yolie, and their three amazing youngsters, who absolutely couldn't wait to play with us!  The excitement and enthusiasm a kid carries at all times to play, laughter and run around has helped re-awaken my inner child.  I suppose as a kid myself I had plenty of opportunities to play, but I perhaps also carried a burden of performance in school and relationships, which prevented me from fully letting go and just running like wind or being recklessly silly.  Through our journey across the globe, and some beautiful inward discoveries, I have learned to understand and care for my inner child, and give myself permission to play and adventure without being so concerned with what others think (I mean, how many truly playful adults do you know?).  I see this journey into fatherhood being a continuation of my self discovery, and I feel it an honor to get to LEARN from my child, learn how to be whole hearted, present, and aware.  I look forward to charging the hills with this daughter to be, and caring for her with my presence and playfulness.

Right now, I feel myself almost tearing up at the idea of having a child, what a wonderful gift, for Kindra and I to create something out of our love, and to give this girl a chance to experience a safe place of affection, care, and exploration.  Our journey through the world was almost a time of preparation for this fantastic new journey, one that I am certain will take us deeper down a road of joy, love, and self discovery.  Little McRobbie girl, we have a place in our hearts ready for you!